Is he talking about buttsex???
Either way, this song fucking rules.
- Claptrap.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
The year was 1978
My step afro-american step-dad married my white mom. He was cool and funky. And my mom decided to homeschool me. Which meant watching a lot of PBS. Can you blame me for having a boner for smart educated and fit black ladies? Check this shit out. WORD tv.... word...
- ReTool
- ReTool
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Little Love
Just saw the cutest dwarf couple walk by holding hands. I bet they work in Hollywood together and met on a movie set. They must be on vacation, it is pier 39 afterall. I also like to think he proposed to her on the set of a Pirates of the Carribean sequel. Do they have little people in any of those? I bet they do. Either way... Effing cute. I hope my story is true and that they don't just work in fetish porn in that creepy Mission castle.
- ReTool
- ReTool
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
A Dirty Seekers Sucess
I started my post breakup 2009 fucking season with a new rule: NO white bread! But that quickly deteriorated as a frigid and Vanilla OK Cupid lay before me. After just one half-Latina I was back to whitey.
But latley Ive been jonsin for something fresh. Assless white girls get me bored and my libido goes down. That and, at 33, I have had my helping of them. In fact, perched sadly at the precarious edge of my bucket list are two large swaths of humanity I have yet to sleep with: Asians or a black girl. How does that happen? I might as well say I am a virgin!
After a boring Saturday night of working from home, my needing fer a bonin gets creepy. Which can only mean one thing: Craigslist Casual Encounters!
Usually a bot and wangfest, I replied to some chick who wanted totalk dirty over IM. Sure why not.
She sends me a pic. I was expecting the bottom of the BBW wasteland. But it's not, she is totally cute, and (gasp!) all kinds of ethnic! We chat, and it gets rated R and rated HJ too. We lament about how we both need to get laid in real life. After a few comments we begin to realize we only live 3 blocks away from each other. "wow, um.." "too bad I don't actually know you" "oh man, right?" .... "but .... In a way I know you better than if I met you at a bar. We have been talking for like 2 hours" "I'll be over in 15 minutes".
That easy.
she was the tripple word score. Fillapino (asian check) and black-puerto rican (hispanic and black!) it was like reaching into your freezer for some
Dryers Vanilla and instead getting some insane Ben and Jerrys concoction with cream, chocolate chips and a fillipino swirl. We boned. She was loud. She laughed when we came. Not at me, thankfully, but at where the night had gone. She asked if she should leave, it was 4am. I said sleep over. She woke me up at 6am and we were back at it.
Now can I get those flavors ala cart?
- ReTool
But latley Ive been jonsin for something fresh. Assless white girls get me bored and my libido goes down. That and, at 33, I have had my helping of them. In fact, perched sadly at the precarious edge of my bucket list are two large swaths of humanity I have yet to sleep with: Asians or a black girl. How does that happen? I might as well say I am a virgin!
After a boring Saturday night of working from home, my needing fer a bonin gets creepy. Which can only mean one thing: Craigslist Casual Encounters!
Usually a bot and wangfest, I replied to some chick who wanted totalk dirty over IM. Sure why not.
She sends me a pic. I was expecting the bottom of the BBW wasteland. But it's not, she is totally cute, and (gasp!) all kinds of ethnic! We chat, and it gets rated R and rated HJ too. We lament about how we both need to get laid in real life. After a few comments we begin to realize we only live 3 blocks away from each other. "wow, um.." "too bad I don't actually know you" "oh man, right?" .... "but .... In a way I know you better than if I met you at a bar. We have been talking for like 2 hours" "I'll be over in 15 minutes".
That easy.
she was the tripple word score. Fillapino (asian check) and black-puerto rican (hispanic and black!) it was like reaching into your freezer for some
Dryers Vanilla and instead getting some insane Ben and Jerrys concoction with cream, chocolate chips and a fillipino swirl. We boned. She was loud. She laughed when we came. Not at me, thankfully, but at where the night had gone. She asked if she should leave, it was 4am. I said sleep over. She woke me up at 6am and we were back at it.
Now can I get those flavors ala cart?
- ReTool
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