topic for the blog
10:17 AM Me: Yesssss!
Friend: here are the levels
1) Golfing Green Trimed
1) Golfing Green Trimed
Me: I am soooo writing about all this when I get back.
Some dudes overdo it.
Friend: 2) Bald Mountain
3) Jungle Escapade
10:20 AM Me: Ha!
10:27 AM Friend: doesnt shaved freak ladies out?
10:28 AM Me: It freaks me out. Rachel digs it. (Rachel is another ladyfriend who likes shorn men)
Friend: well you dont go down so yeah (Refer to RETURNING THE FAVOR blog)
10:29 AM Me: Ya that's true.
Friend: dental floss pubes are kind nar nar
Me: I just think dudes should be manly.
10:30 AM Trimme it good.
Shaved is not.
10:39 AM Me: Oh man.
I'm so nervous.
Fuck and there's like tons of people in here.
Friend: where are you?
Me: I had to say what I wanted out loud.
10:40 AM Cole valley salon.
Its where ----- goes. (Bleeping out friend's name to protect her privacy/dignity)
So I figured if these people saw her junk they could see mine.
Friend: oh right
Me: I'm seriously freaking out.
10:43 AM Friend: the ripping of the V hair?
Friend: how long does it last?
Me: Like 2 weeks.
I've never done the full brazilian.
Friend: do it!
you will feel like a total queen afterwards
Queen of Persia
10:44 AM Me: Really.
Friend: like getting a tattoo
only I wont be able to see it
Friend: so really what do I care?
Me: I wish it was empty.
10:45 AM Do dudes care?
10:47 AM Like if I hook up with old man would he notice the difference???
Friend: he will yeah
we always notice
I think it's more of a relationship thing
Friend: when you are sexing the same person
Me: I'm next.
Friend: its like
Friend: a super nice thing to reach down and discover that
10:48 AM do it for yourself though
not for old man (Shaddup. NO GIRL would or should ever do this for herself!)
10:49 AM Me: I am nude with an old vietnamese lady.
Me: Oh my god.
Friend: have her pour you a shot of whiskey now
Me: Dude she's going nuts.
Friend: "live blogging the wax job!"
quicker is better
get it over with
10:50 AM hey, I got a 30% off friends and family discount for Levis (WTF?????? Way to change the subject)
Me: Dude its like almost done.
and oyu were all nervous
10:51 AM you arent all hairy
like most west asians though are you? (Goddammit.)
Me: Dude sjhes all up in my crevices?!!!!
10:52 AM Butt creack!!!!
Dude this is queef worthy!
Ih ym god.
She's sayong how strong I am.
10:53 AM Friend: haha
10:54 AM this is the best thing ever
I am so glad to be privy to this
Me: This is insane.
Friend: after this you will have to LA style caladner it
10:55 AM put on a bikini and oil up
and get photos
with a gun
or next to a fire truck
or maybe operating some heavy machinery
10:57 AM Little asian fingers.
10:58 AM Oh my god.
She's waxing my butt.
11:01 AM I'm done!!!!
How long did that last?
11:03 AM Friend: like 10 minutes max
11:05 AM Me: Haha I just told my mom.
11:06 AM Friend: hahahahaha
11:15 AM Me: You must email me the transcript of this chat.
It must go on the blog.
11:28 AM Friend: hahaha
DONE Please note the sloppy and crazed texting throughout this entire thing. Seriously, it was traumatizing, humiliating, and really, I'm doing this just because I'm expecting crazy disgusting and filthy sex tomorrow. Holler ya'll! - Claptrap